Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A ton of bricks

The second time we met we had sex. I didn't use a condom. I trusted him and I know it sounds crazy only after 2 dates, but we had a connection unlike anything I had ever felt before. This was Tuesday. Afterwards we said our goodbyes and headed home. He lives almost two hours away from where I do and we ususally meet in the middle.

I called him Wednesday and he was obviously upset. I asked what was wrong and he said he didn't want to talk about it. He asked if I could meet hiom the next day (thursday) and I said ok.

I met him Thursday. We watched fottball game but I could tell something was troubling him. Finally he asked if I wanted to skip the game and go talk. I said yes. I don't remeber much about what we talked about besides that he told me he was tested for HIV and he got a false negative and he found out Wednesday, the day after we had unprotected sex that he was HIV positive.

That is something I never thought I would have to deal with. A married guy with two kids from a small town. I was shocked! Actually shocked is an understatement. The next day I made an appointment with our family doctor. She was the first person I came out to. I told her what had happened, and being a doctor in a small town where there are no people with HIV she had to call a doctor in a larger city to find out what our options were.

Before I went to my appointment I spent the whole morning sobbing. Not just sobbing but sobbing uncontrollably. I just kept thinking how could I do this. Yeah, I was from a small town, but I am educated. I know the risks of unprotected sex with a new partner. I could have put on a condom. There was even one available for me at the time.

I was put on a 28 day prescription of a cocktail of drugs that is supposed to block HIV if it is taken within 48 hours of exposure. I was so close to being within a couple hours past the deadline. I got the prescription and believe it or not my new friend came to be with me. He drove two hours to go get a baseline HIV test and to pick up my prescription and talk. There was some worry that the local pharmacy would not have the precription sonce there are not reported cases of HIV in the county, but luckily they did have it. It was $800.00 and thankfully my insurance paid all but $100.00. That is a whole other issue, the cost of life saving drugs.

All of this happening in a matter of a week and my wife had no idea what was going on in my life........

6 Comments:

Blogger Terminus said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Benjamin Blue said...

What became of everything?

7:57 PM  
Blogger Mike S said...

What happened with your life? Are you still married?

11:30 PM  
Blogger Mike S said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:30 PM  
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12:15 AM  
Blogger Paul Aidan said...

It looks like wreckless behaviour, but I know the feeling: being driven by a primal attraction that you can't do anything about. Rational thinking is bypassed.

It happened to me last year, although I never got as far as sex thankfully. Wrecked my head though! Now I have an awkward relationship with the guy, but my marriage is sound.

12:40 AM  

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